Mother's Day 2010

napping on Mother's Day with the sweetest little snuggler there is!
After Colton's Blessing on Mother's Day

33 Weeks

Well, what a week. That's about all I can say :-) It has been full of trials, but today was a much needed day of rest and renewal. Today at church was great. We had our primary program and I felt the Spirit so much as I watched the children, listened to and sang the songs and felt so much love that Heavenly Father had for me too. I had two powerful examples to me there at Church today and even amidst their pain and turmoil were still thinking of me and offering me assistance with something today. Just their sheer concern for me made me feel deeper faith.

I can't even tell you how excited I am to open up to this crazy, wonderful, faith-filled adventure they call motherhood! I feel the tender mercies of the Lord more and more everyday as I focus on the things that matter, and strive each day to renew my faith in Him and know that all of my temporal needs to come together.

I have experienced MUCH more hormonal drama this trimester than the others put together and Dusty is handling it like a champ :-) The baby is moving great and still kickin' strong. He has his favorite place to just get stuck in my ribs, and, although it's painful, I have to admit I still smile through the pain (sometimes :-) just thinking about him and how soon we will be in each other's arms.

There is something about being an aunt....

There is something about being an aunt that just makes my world go 'round. I am so enriched by the lives of my sweet little nieces and nephews. I love to see little characteristics of my siblings in them and see the "Mother's Curse" put on by my own mother in action :-) I love each and every one of them SOOO much and, I feel, in some small way makes me a better mother-to-be. I get to see their extreme differences in personality and preferences and have had my chance to take care of them, play with them and just plain enjoy them!

My heart is turned to Jackson as he prepares for yet another head surgery. He is so strong, brave and precious beyond words and his Aunt Amy loves him more than she can say. I know that the Lord is with him helping him fight this battle. Sending all my love to all of my nieces and nephews from Utah. I love you all!

Gentle Reminder

I was reminded today that Heavenly Father knows me, loves me and is with me. He gave me a blessing that was completely unexpected but perfectly timed. I had wanted for it to happen a few years ago, but in His wisdom, it came right when I needed to put it to use. Heavenly Father spoke my "love language" today and reminded me how much He absolutely loves me. I am eternally grateful.

Caring People

Some of you know how much I have loved my doctor. I have dealt with hypothyroidism and she has helped me through so much. She has call me on weekends, in the evenings, before hours and ALWAYS listens to me and makes sure she understands me before she does anything. She has been the absolute best doctor I have ever had. She is even my friend. Well in January I had to switch insurance companies and she was no longer a network doctor!! SO BUMMED! But I called her office anyway and asked to speak with her. I was out of meds and needed her to call in a subscription while I found a new doc interim. When I told her I couldn't come see her anymore she was bummed too. She gave me her personal cell number and told me to call her any time and she would help me find another doctor that I liked.

Well I had a few kind of emergency medical questions and called her cell to see if she would help me find a new doc ASAP. She spoke with me for 40 minutes at 9pm and told me to call her back and keep her updated on my situation. I mean, seriously, what kind of doctor does this?! She has gone out of her way because she cares so many times. I am sure she has touched a lot of people's lives. I am not going to take advantage of that but its nice to know that she is there and truly cares.

I am grateful for caring people and people who are so ready and willing to impart wisdom, experience and helpful advice. I mean as a professional her time is valuable and can bill for that kind of consultation but she is just a kind person wanting to help. I am grateful for her and lots of others out there who inspire me to be a better person and be more giving.

Staying In-Tune

God answers prayers in His time. He knows best. I know this and I believe it with all my heart. Today a small answer of sorts happened that brought an added sense of peace in our hearts at home and I am so thankful for that. Dusty had a prompting and was courageous enough and willing enough to follow through and it reaped good results.

As I thought about this tonight before I went to bed I was thinking about how important it is to stay in tune with the Lord. When the time is right for something He will let us know and give us gentle prompts and it's up to us to make them happen. Agency and Gospel learning at its finest :-) I love the learning process even though I kick and scream a lot of the way. I truly know that I wouldn't learn any other way and I am grateful for a loving and merciful Heavenly Father and Savior to provide a way for us to learn, grow, repent, receive help and be happy!

Making Do and fixin' up

So Dusty and I have been slowly adding things to our home to make it nicer and just fixing up the place. We both had this attitude of "when we get a house we will...." and we just got tired of feeling like we didn't have nice things. Not even nice things but like nothing matched and the house just looked thrown together even when it was clean. So we have been adding a little here and there and even the SMALL things make a HUGE difference.

For my birthday Dusty got me a bakers rack for the kitchen. He had it delivered and ready for me when I got back from a trip I had taken this summer. I LOVED it. I think I have posted before that we are building kind of a rustic-country-homey-feel to our place. I loved this addition to our kitchen. We still have a LONG way to go before things are how we want them but I am grateful we have been able to do things like this to make it feel nicer.

So I have a bakers rack, a fruit basket holder I love, a nice wooden frame calendar a little apron that matches the hen curtains Dusty's momma gave me, a way nice iron rod cookbook holder, some Gooseberry Patch cookbooks (....if you don't have any, you need some; ESPECIALLY if you are from the south!!), that basket in the bottom rack is for my potatoes and we have a little red dish in the middle for the garlic and onions. I just love it!

Gratitudes

*you are getting the short version, my journal gets the long version :-)

20th - learning opportunities

21st - a season that helps you to focus on what you are grateful for. it REALLY helps sometimes

22nd - friends who you know you can hang out with and you know they won't try to compromise your standards or put in situations that are uncomfortable

23rd- the Plan of salvation, forgiveness and hope that our Savior brings

24th- half days of work ;-)

I am thankful for......

18th - getting to use gift cards on things that you want and don't really need :-)

19th - Advil, Kleenex, heating pads, hats, naps .....

*yeah, I know this is a lame one, but they are self explanatory and I really am thankful for them*

I've got some catching up to do...

OK I am behind on posting my "gratefuls" but I will give you the short version so you all aren't bored to death with reading a 25 paragraph post.....

10th - I am grateful for opportunities that surround us all the time. Sometimes it takes a little nudging from the Spirit to recognize them. Sometimes as we work really hard we finally see them. And sometimes, you see them all along. How great is it to know that you can "be-do-have" anything you want!

11th - I am grateful for such a wonderful family. I absolutely LOVE my siblings and parents and we are so close. I couldn't imagine life without them.

12th - the Internet. 'nough said :-)

13th - I can't remember if I said this or not but, whatever. I really am grateful for people who work hard at sharing their talents. There are so many wonderful programs out there from people to have followed their mission and passion and touch people's lives everyday.

14th - I am so thankful for long distance friends. :-) They don't seem so long distance when I can look at their blogs, call, chat, email etc. I love it!

15th - I love it that Dusty just chips in and helps when I need him to and even just because he wants to. He is so great about that. He never complains and really wants to share the load that's on my shoulders. There is nothing more sexy than your husband with an apron on or a vacuum in his hand. Yeah Baby!! haha Just kidding........kind of :-)

16th - Friends who feel comfortable enough to touch my husbands underwear, discuss it and then request that I go get mine so we can discuss that too. Priceless friendship.....you know who you are ;-)

17th - Pictures. I love having pictures that will tell stories and help you treasure memories for years to come!

Sunday Gratitude

Today I am grateful for people who reach beyond what others would consider limitations. We had an amazing blind piano player in Sacrament today and it touched me so deeply. Not only the song and the Spirit that it brought but what it meant for the piano player to accomplish such a task and what it meant for his challenges and triumphs in his life. I learned a great lesson today and I am grateful for that.

I am also grateful to have no-pressure relationships in my life. I LOVE the kinds of friends where I can actually be myself. I love the kinds of friends where you can talk about whatever is on your mind and not be judged. I am thankful for laughter and wholesome fun. I am thankful for listening ears and empathetic hearts. I am grateful for the strong women in my life who teach me everyday. (just in case you didn't know if you are a woman and you are reading this blog, that probably means you!) I have been blessed with many people in my life where I can just be myself. They are spread out all over the country (and in other countries) and I know they are just a call, chat, blog away :-)

I am thankful for the great power and testimony that can come from honoring the Sabbath. I am thankful that even though nowhere around me had a hymn book on Sunday and I forgot my own hymnal that I knew the words to all the songs in Sacrament on Sunday. To me that was a real blessing. I LOVE to sing the hymns and I felt an extra need to sing on Sunday and was able to do it with ease.

Week of Gratefuls

I have to do this by the week.... So, here goes.

Saturday - I am thankful for the warm home that I have, the abundance of food on my shelves. I am thankful for a mindful Heavenly Father that blesses me even if I am not doing my very best...He knows my heart and my potential. I am thankful for that!

Sunday - I am grateful that Heavenly Father doesn't compare us to each other. I can't even explain how grateful I am for that. He loves me just as he loves you. Wow! I know that I am a special person with unique talents and gifts. I have a mission here on earth that is mine and mine alone. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are there every step of the way and they love me for me!!

Monday - I am grateful for chapstick! Yes, chapstick. It feels so good when your lips are dry and cracked to put a good ol' coating of chapstick on them!! Ahhhhh

Tuesday - Good books that inspire. The library has been my best friend. I LOVE reading and am such a book nerd. I thoroughly enjoy visiting the library and spending a lot of time there. Of course, the best book can be read at home, the Book of Mormon. :0)

Wednesday - I was glad to be able to exercise my right to vote. It was a great privilege. Even though my choice wasn't picked, my vote did count. Probably more on this later....

Thursday - Cozy...I love Cozi, the online organizer (thanks Heather). I love KOSY 106.5. And I love getting comfy, cozy as soon as I get home and snuggling up with my sweetie after a long hard day.

Friday - I am grateful for the feeling you get after a great workout. I went to the gym everyday this week and it feels GREAT! Not seeing the results I want yet, ;-) but it's great to be taking the steps towards a goal.

Saturday - (skipping a head a day...) I am thankful for giving people. I want to be more of a giving person. I do my best, but I could do a whole lot better. I am grateful for the example of my mother and mother-in-law and so many others around me who are exemplary people and who serve with all their hearts. (someone gave us BYU football tickets for tomorrow's game...and it sparked the thought...)

Quote from unlikely sources...

I heard a powerful quote yesterday from an unlikely source, Jim Carrey. We all know him for his crazy antics but he is a big believer in positive thinking and the power of the mind.

"You put out what you think you deserve." ~Jim Carrey

I can't agree with this more. We, as a human race, are the ones that limit ourselves. We limit our success. We don't allow ourselves to dream and think big. Even if you are asked to dream up your "perfect life" scenario we tend to dream big, but only what we think is possible to actually achieve. Why do we do this? Are we afraid that if we dream big and come short that it is a message loud and clear that "the voice" was right. Ya know, that "voice" that tells you you can't, that you're not good enough or that you are undeserving.

It takes time and continuous training to let your mind think big. This quote listed above is very real. If we think that we are undeserving our actions will inevitably lead us to underachieve and bring to pass those negative thoughts. Then we tell ourselves, "See. I told you so. I'm not good enough. I shouldn't have even tried."

However, if we take the mental approach of acting as if. Acting as if you are already where you want to be. Acting as if you already have that nice lifestyle, awesome job, business etc. Acting as if you have already accomplished whatever it is that you wanted to. I don't mean to spend money that you don't have or anything even remotely close to that. Just the opposite. Successful people think different than mainstream America, a lot different. Think successful thoughts. Treat yourself with more respect than you currently do and respect your time as well. Allow yourself to be conscious. Be conscious of what and how you eat, where your time goes, where your money goes, what is important to you, what your goals are etc. Live and act with a conscious purpose.

If we "put out what we think we deserve" and we think we are undeserving, then our actions will make us fall short, live unconsciously, have self defeating and berating thoughts or just live in plain confusion.

On the other hand. If we "put out what we think we deserve" and we know that we are deserving, great things happen. Our actions will lead us to success over time. Jim Carrey actually wrote himself a check for $5 million dollars. He made the check out to himself and carried it around in his wallet. When we got turned down or feeling low, he would pull that check out and he believed it.

Another quote is "energy flows where attention goes"...I want to say this is from James Ray. But it all relates to the same thing. If we concentrate on falling short, not being "good enough" and our attention is focused on the negative, we will get negative results and energy. However, the opposite is true as well.

I honestly believe that Heavenly Father wants to bless us beyond our comprehension. He tells us that in the scriptures. He wants us to show gratitude and recognize abundance. Begin this cycle of gratitude - abundance - blessings. Put it to the test. "....prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not ^dopen you the ^ewindows of heaven, and pour you out a ^fblessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." ~ Malachi 3:10

You deserve it. I deserve it. Live consciously and see what will unfold. Dream big dreams. Think big thoughts----think HUGE! Stop listening to the voice and stop limiting yourself. You are worth it! Heavenly Father already knows it....He is just waiting for us to catch on!

Exactly What I Needed...

This is exactly what I needed to help me stop feeling sorry for myself today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BODHsU3hDo4

New Callings

So I have talked to a few of you about my new calling last week. I am a Relief Society Teacher. I teach the forth week of every month. I give a lesson on the conference talks. I have never taught a lesson in Church before, so I am a little nervous, but I know this will help me build the confidence I have been lacking lately.

Tonight on the way home from my workout the Bishop called me at 9:15 pm asking me to come right in and see him again. I got another calling: Young Women Advisor. :-) I don't even know what they do, but I will find out tomorrow night when I go to my first meeting.

As of right now my callings are:

• Ward Activities Chairman
• Visiting Teacher
• Visitng Teacher Supervisor
• Relief Society Teacher
• Young Women Advisor

Whew! The Bishop told me that Dusty and I will be released from the Ward Activities in a few weeks. I think these callings are a real blessing to me right now. I have been needing something. There has been a void. I am grateful for these callings and can already feel my heart turning toward the Lord more.

I am grateful also to be a memeber of this Church. I am grateful for being born into my family and having such outstanding examples of service, love and sacrifice from my parents and syblings. I am just grateful tonight!

I will let you know how my first lesson goes :-) I teach on Easter Sunday....